2014 - what a year

2014 has not been an easy year, but it was worth it and I can look back with a smile, even more with a fire burning inside of me to reach the goals I want to reach, a great hunger to learn and a twinkle in my eyes of curiosity and laughter. My stubborness and awkwardness will not fade, and I am stealing parts of lines of a friend here ;): "I blend in, but will I ever fit in?" I do know I have been embraced by many and I embraced many, for all the so so many great people I met, even the dangerous and bad ones, I am grateful. This picture in Australia represents somewhere where I am standing, a small Indian woman with big dreams in a big world that is waiting to be explored, still many stairs to climb to come closer to making those dreams reality, while finding out who she is and staying true to herself. Making mistakes, falling down, standing up again and always full of questions 

Facebook, a privacy issue or something else? - short thought

When I decided I had to clean up my Facebook too, there was actually not a lot to clean up . The people who did not like me or felt we were too much out of touch already unfriended me or will do so in future (I think haha  ), so have a group of managable Facebook contacts, also thanks to mostly ignoring requests from people I don't know or don't know well... and all my pages and groups I like are not huge in numbers and quite organized in lists, at least I find . Pictures, well, I don't have much to hide there and already regularly untagged what I didn't found necessary to have or deleted my own pics at some point. I wondered: what privacy am I now actually trying to maintain? Facebook records practically everything I do online, well that is what they say, right? I guess it just feels better to believe I am in control, while also in real life, in fact, we hardly control anything, sometimes even not ourselves 

India and its rapes

http://nos.nl/…/2007881-hoe-een-verkrachte-superheld-india-…

It reaches the news in Netherlands also, again: every 21 minutes a woman is being raped in India. I love India for many reasons, not for the one here, because every few times a year when I go to New Delhi and other parts, I also observe and feel how men behave towards women. And in my case an Indian woman who comes from abroad. There are many sweet and nice men!! But equal narrow minded men. Also so called highly educated men are narrow minded. Often ask: should our culture change? And how? - Many people seem to want to avoid the topic, or only discuss a lot instead of further implementing solutions. And why do some solutions not work yet?

What is age? Fun experiences of the 25 year old

I read back the journals I wrote while travelling, capturing my moments in words. They make me smile. While I was travelling, I met two types of people. People who thought I was much younger than I am and people who thought I was much older than I am. And I must say I surprised both groups. I was travelling from Singapore to Australia and just received a message with: "Good luck in Australia Doctor Kohli!" and boarded the airplane. I had an aisle seat next to an elderly couple, very sweet people. It was a night flight, I curled up in my seat, making myself very comfortable and when they thought I was sleeping, whispering the lady next to me said to her husband: "parents letting such a young girl fly alone" :D. I am happy with my young appearance acutally and they treated my like a fragile young girl haha, and hopefully my smile did not reveal, that this very young girl just got a message wishing her luck as a medical Doctor :). While when I give Talks or Lectures, people actually think I am closer to 30 before I start giving a talk. I don't like to list up all things I have done usually haha, but when they list it up in my intro, hmm, it is quite some yes. Then they listen to the Talk/lecture and after the Talk many people come up to me and ask: "How old are you actually Ma'm?" And all reactions made me smile. Mostly: "You are so young?"   I was entering a casino (I don't like gambling, but it was a beautiful casino), no guard believed I was older than 18 :D! - So what is young and what is old and what is age actually? What fits a certain age? You are as young as you feel :)?

A beauty loser?

While travelling I happened to meet some ladies. Nice ladies, but some things were a bit unbelievable for them. After hearing what so unbelievable was for them, I could not believe it . Was I a beauty loser for some? I wondered what a woman should and should not do for her beauty and what the perception of beauty really is and how that may be culturally defined for some people. My confessions that I hardly use make-up, when I do, as less as possible and actually am not a star in using it, a shock! Beauty salons are a quite unknown place for me, I never had a manicure or pedicure for example. The confession that I like my eyebrows just the way they are, did and do consider the tweezing once in while, but find they suit my face and give me the right expression, was also a shock! And, No I never straightened or curled or do whatever with my hair on my head. I do keep it clean . And there might have been some more shocking things as well for them. I loved all the beauty advice of very nice ladies and it is not that I do not like taking caring of myself and will never use the advice. I do, in fact, take a lot of care of myself in different ways! And also I do not mind getting tanned by the sun.. In no time I am lucky a tan will vanish again . I am Indian, naturally brown skinned, I am supposed to get brown in the sun, it is good for vitamin D. I am not saying I will never visit a beauty salon, I don't hate it, it does feel good and I might do go if I feel like it, but it does not make me less beautiful or less a lady if I don't visit it regularly. Lack of time plays a role too. If I a beauty loser now? I don't think so. Sometimes less is more. And with doing at the right times "more" I can at least surprise people .

Who Cares? An observation and an experience.

When in need who will come to a person to help? So many discussions and Talks and conferences around the world, I am also in those conferences and I hear beautiful words. I reflect after every conference I have been to or have been a speaker. Looking at ground level, looking at people around me, my own friends. When someone is in need: who will help? People will ask: are you okay and say they feel sorry. Or they will just gossip about you. Much gossip reaches my eyes and ears every day and I let it go, forget it, about friends and other people, they don't even know or perhaps they do know what is being said about them. They think nobody knows, but in fact, the whole world knows. And of course they do the same about me! Human nature at its best right? You must recognize what I write here. And I myself have also been in situations where I thought: who will help me now? Also upon asking people hesitate. To help. What is that makes people hesitate to help someone? Not to just ask: are you okay? But take initiative to actually do something? In most cases that is what someone needs, that physical support, that little push in the back taking you forward. I am not blaming anyone, but we should observe ourselves better on what we do. I am also part of not taking enough initiative yet (I am improving every day) and that same lack of initiative from a lot of people, who actually think: well that is not really my business, I don't want my own reputation to go, I do not want to get involved or it does not make me better: does not really help anyone :). So we listen to Talks and visit conferences and read books and claim we are there to help this world and in the meanwhile telling all other people, "this person was sick, so sad right? or this person had a fight with ..." not to start about all relationship break up and tie up news my ears reach :). I am not perfect, but a moment of reflection at least makes me realize again how much more work there is to be done for to keep improving every day!

Happy World Toilet Day!

Happy World Toilet day! While these type of "love toilets" come available, many people world wide are in big need of normal toilets! Be aware that 2.5 billion people lack access to improved sanitation. While travelling all over the world, many times experienced how important having access to a toilet is. An important cause that needs full attention, also to prevent spread of diseases.

From earlier - ice bucket challenge

Although I am not against funny and challenging ways of creating awareness. Every good and acceptable way something important can get awareness is good. I do hope that people who take part in the challenge also really do their best to understand and learn a bit more about ALS, instead of only throwing a bucket of ice water on them . I see many movies passing by, which is great, but only saying "I accept the challenge" in many cases I believe when I would ask someone: "So what is ALS?" just wonder how many people will know. So if you have not done it already: accept your ice bucket challenge whenever you get it and all Do read about ALS, even better, get to meet someone who has ALS or watch a youtube video with them, to understand what someone goes through! It will make you also understand your donation.

The question collector

Questions shape me. A world of questions, piling up, not in a particular order. In my mind, in notebooks, stored in online documents, in voice messages recorded and many will never be answered. But asking those questions somehow frees the mind, sometimes I already know the answer, but the question needs to be asked anyway. Sometimes there is no answer, sometimes the answer will never be said and sometimes, the most fun questions, that have an answer that needs a journey to catch that answer when it least expects it. And sometimes the questions show my greatest fears. The questions are a companion, a challenger, sometimes even a stranger or a bully. And in a joyful or tactful play I collect them, go along with them or tackle them. Creating me, together with everyone and everything I have known until today, to who I am. Questions shape me and will keep shaping me until the end.

Definition of being nerdy and being cool?

I find it great to be nerdy! I find it great to be a bit serious! I find it great to be a bit quiet sometimes! I find it great to be a book wurm :D! I find it great that I love working! I find it great to laugh out loud at my own bad jokes! And all other things I am and do, I find all those great too. And I am also a person who has troubles, and those troubles are great too ;). If I wasn't all those things, if I did not have all those things, I wasn't the person I am today. And that does not mean I am not social, or don't like taking care of myself. I would like to redefine the word "Nerd" haha :)! I highly love gaining knowledge, but as much do I love a new dress, a good pair of heels or to dance and so much more. I love my specs and I also love my contacts (when I do wear them ;) ). It is a good mix between femininity and nerdiness and I'd rather be a woman who likes discussions and showing intelligence than one who doesn't. And I also like being the woman who sometimes is just bit quiet and smiles. So what defines being cool? And belonging to the crowd? Why I write this: people always have an opinion on others and while I usually think, who cares what others think, some points I also felt: "hmm, would they be right? Is this not cool and should I be cool?" Whatever cool meant then. This is part of what I noted down somewhere earlier added with few new lines. Just wanted to share. Being yourself is cool!

To show off you have money is one thing, to know the value of money is another - my opinion

There is nothing wrong with buying designer clothes and other expensive things, either because you love it or to show off. In most cases people worked hard for that money, so they have lot of reasons to be proud of it. But if people don't show their wealth in any way or perhaps don't have much money at some point, I always find it a bit hard to understand a certain narrowmindedness that occurs in some people. Resulting also in certain behaviour and comments. Hardly anybody knows what the other person is really spending their money on or how much one really owns, it is always a perception :). It depends on what one spends their money. For myself: I have seen beautiful parts of the world and learnt a ton about different cultures and gained experience. I have practiced a lot of different sports, to keep my mind creative and my body always fit and the mind sharp. Spending on things that increase my health, has always been worth it. Apart from my studies, I always make sure to keep increasing my knowledge also in other ways and meet the most interesting people world wide in that way. And a lot of money doesn't stay in own pocket, it reached many pockets who need it more. And more things actually. And I don't speak only for myself, absolutely not! Lot of people do this, it is only not visible to all :). Do I say now I have a lot of money or I don't have? No. Do I own a lot of money, or does my family? Only I know at the moment :D. Does it matter? And then a logic question for me is: what is then a definition of being rich? I leave that answer open. As for every outside story, there is also an inside one ;). I try to keep that in mind.

The weird ones out there

I today read another story of a boy who was bullied and was dyslexic and had made it at a young age as an entrepreneur. And more often there are stories that "the weird ones out there" get success in certain fields. Richard Branson was also considered in some way a "weird one". Not saying, I already made it in life, I still have a long way to go. But also my demons, like my shyness, and other weird aspects of my character, my way of living and doing things and myself, have made that I reached certain milestones and goals in my life and am closer to reaching more. And sometimes failed also gloriously, but that is life and learning. I have never been popular, or the most beautiful, until today by quite some people considered as a "weird one" for certain things . And because of that strange weirdness, some people who have got me further in life, came to me and said: "you have something" and they could not name it, but I always assumed it was said in a positive way hahaha. Someone who is always (happily) working, but is getting (closer to) where she likes to be. So when as young kid never really embracing my that "weirdness". I learnt and am learning through the years what my "weirdness" can do for me. And it makes me smile when I read the success stories of people who were considered weird and have found how their weirdness works for them .

The purpose of a religion...

So if religion can create so many problems.. What is the purpose of a religion? To make everyone the same, your religion? To kill people? I believe people forget what a ( I don't like the word "religion") way of living really means and what beauty and peace it can bring.

For me it is finding myself and getting to know who I really am, discover what life is and what life means and seeing that also in others. In short, a summary and lot more to say about it.

And a lot of people in this world are blind, actually blind for themselves, they stuffed their heart and brains with so much dirt, they can't clearly see what their real goal in life should be.

A way of living is about using your heart and brains and most of the time, cleaning your heart and brains. It is about compassion and learning and creating happiness. (for me at least)

So what are a lot of people in the world doing these days? I observe exactly the opposite.

30 sec post - look beyond the first impression

What I learnt past weeks in different situations is that first impression is not always how people really are. While usually a lot of people after the first impression already draw conclusions - I like him/her/ I don't like him/her. In most of the cases people either wear a mask or have a wall around them or they are just afraid or shy to show who they really are. Why don't we just give people a chance? I myself have to keep reminding myself over and over and when I give them a chance I, in most of the cases, find something beautiful I would not have discovered earlier

An experience out of a doctor's life

Let me share with you a moment out of a doctor's life that made me think and made me humble:


I have an 80 year old male patient. He has cancer in a far stage. He is sometimes a bit confused because of his starting dementia, but he has his clear moments. And today he said someting unexpected. I wished him and his daughters a good weekend an afternoon last week and he said: "thank you doctor, for letting me gaze every morning into one of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen". I had to laugh, because he said it with such a serious face and thanked him for the big compliment. 

A man who might not live long anymore and gazing into my eyes every morning, well more times on the day actually, is a small joy for him. And perhaps he said it in a not clear moment, perhaps he was not serious at all, but in all that we say is always a little truth. And he is still looking, in a confused moment or not, for the small moments of joy in his life.

All these patients have special stories of their lives. So has this man and these life stories inspire me. It shows what fighting and will power humans have. We can overcome a lot. 


And at the end of our life, what will we think of what we made out of it? Would we be longing to look into a pair of beautiful eyes as well? Well, this man can gaze into my eyes after the weekend again, because he is not leaving the hospital soon. Atleast I and the nurses have made him laugh also this week.

A day not laughed is a day not lived.

Being soft or tough

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style." - Maya Angelou . 

People often tell me: "don't be too soft. Be tough, very tough. Show them who is boss!" I agree to some extent. But there is a difference in being too soft and being kind. 

1. I find when other people act tough, perhaps that is not the solution for me. 

2. I believe when possible I should make time to be kind, but to be firm in my decisions and communicate that. 

3. It is not about to survive, but to thrive, to flourish on the way, it is a learning process. And we are all different - and that is what I like. If we were all the same, tough people, how boring would the world be 

Dedicating the new start of writing on this Blog to my dear friend Fleur!

She taught me today how important having your own style is. And that one can find it at a jumble sale (English for rommelmarkt ;)).

More pieces to follow soon!